This is the first entry I’ve done in AGES that wasn’t part of a kit, prompt, design team assignment, etc and it’s a deeply personal one. I considered not sharing, but I felt like it was important to. Sure, it’s a fun and new technique for me (napkin technique) but it truly represents where I REALLY AM in this life. .
Song of Solomon 2:11-12 talks about a season of bleak winter passing away and ushering in flowers covering the earth, and a time of singing. The book is a celebration of love, where poem after poem lovers describe their beauty and enjoyment of each other. I think of marriage when I think of Song of Songs. When I was first married we scrolled a verse from SOS on the bare beams of our walls when our home was being built. Love was easy, and probably a bit shallow. .
But that was 8 years and 2 kids ago. That was before debt, pain, depression, anxiety, job loss, law enforcement life, illness and the grind of each day started to hit us hard and fast. Marriage became hard and at times, painful. I’ve fought with the depth of my bones to keep it together. When I’ve wanted to throw in the towel, God has gently pulled me closer and asked me to stay. When pain has overtaken me and made me want to pack up, give up and run away, God has less gently roared at me to stop and surrender to him. Even fairly recently when I’ve been filled with loneliness, anger, frustration and feelings of deep worthlessness, God has given me peace, and asked me to wait patiently and to PRAY for my spouse above all. This has not been easy. .
But in that peace I felt God telling me that a time of singing is coming. The winter of this season in our lives will pass away and flowers are going to cover the rocky, scarred, dry soil. I love my husband and I am committed to praying, and waiting with eager anticipation for a time of singing. I’m thankful for a God whose love is deeper than anything I could ever hope for on this earth. He is always singing to me. .
Thanks for letting me share friends. Being vulnerable is not my favorite.
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